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Beyond Bea Charity (@beyondbeacharity) Instagram Profile Photo beyondbeacharity

Beyond Bea Charity

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Thoughts for Thursday...Choice ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When families attend ordinarily at any point in their care they are offered choices. Whether they want to have maternity care, where they want to access care, whether they want bloods taking, what screening options they want, whether they want to attend antenatal classes, how they choose to deliver, if induction is required, analgesia options, birth plans, consent for procedures, whether they accept vitamin K, will they choose for their baby to be vaccinated. The list continues. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ So why when a baby dies do so many options seem to often be removed? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If someone experiences a stillbirth/ termination/ tfmr/ compassionate induction, they’re still entitled to choice. A birth plan is a birth plan regardless of outcome, be an advocate for families and help them feel empowered to create choices and decisions. If you’re in this position, please be assured that you are fully entitled to choices too. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When families experience loss due to a neonatal death/ SIDS, you still have options to spend time with your baby, you shouldn’t be rushed, you should be given time and you should be given somewhere appropriate to have this time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There are so many choices out there, the list could run on, but just ensure that as a professional you give these choices, give options and empower those you care for and be a kind, compassionate professional. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you’re a parent/ family member/ friend, as much as it’s hard to know your choices and make decisions at these horrific times, please know you’re fully entitled to them and you do not need permission to be entitled to these choices. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Always remember to offer a full package of choices, regardless of what you may think the answer will be - allow families to decide what is the right choice for them, this is their baby. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Did you feel advocated for? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Were you offered choices? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Would you have done things differently if you felt like you had more choices?

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 image by Lindsay Ahearn (@lindsayisbecominganomad) with caption : "Day 17. #Gratitude #captureyourgrief - Is gratitude really all its talked up to be when it comes to healing? Is it somet" - 1892499261755347076
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Day 17. - Is gratitude really all its talked up to be when it comes to healing? Is it something you practise. Everyday I practice this... some days are harder then others but losing Chance has shown me life isn’t guaranteed, losing my dad when he was 44 showed me life can be shorter then you expect, so I am grateful everyday I am here and in doing so this has helped with my healing

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 image by Sara (@on_my_way_to_a_rainbow) with caption : "CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF, DAY 17.
⭐️
Being grateful for what you have, for what you are, and simply for just being alive can b" - 1892456750603734054
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CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF, DAY 17. ⭐️ Being grateful for what you have, for what you are, and simply for just being alive can become a complicated task, after loss. But I am glad that I’ve had the chance to think about it today. ✨ Losing doesn’t mean failing. Hurting doesn’t mean erasing all that’s good and real about your life. It’s as simple and as complicated as that - and I sometimes have to put that in writing otherwise I just let it slip. 💫 To me, gratitude equals choosing life, joy, and hope over death, despair, and fear. Opening my eyes every morning to see my husband next to me. Cuddling on the sofa while watching a film. Putting a record on when we are cooking together. Calling a friend and laughing for an hour, just like we did when we were all at uni. Speaking to my mum and dad on Skype without being sad because they’re far, and instead being grateful for such pretty amazing technology that allows us to communicate. 💚 Gratitude after losing two babies? Is that even possible? I think it’s all in the little, everyday things. Being gentle with myself and not criticising a body that I do not recognise anymore. Being proud of how much more in tune I am with my emotions and my body. Being comforted by other people’s stories, and comforting other people with mine. Staying alive, day after day, waiting for that rainbow that will, hopefully, make me a mum to a living and breathing child. 🌈 #tfmr

Return To Zero: H.O.P.E. (@rtzhope) Instagram Profile Photo rtzhope

Return To Zero: H.O.P.E.

 image by Return To Zero: H.O.P.E. (@rtzhope) with caption : "#returntozero is showing at the Varsity theater in #chapelhill with North Carolina Women’s Hospital." - 1892413400149143935
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is showing at the Varsity theater in with North Carolina Women’s Hospital.

 image by C|R (@loveafterloss) with caption : "After feeling ever so slightly better, tonight I get pulled back down to my pool of anxiety and emotions. It's my first " - 1892378144029518356
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After feeling ever so slightly better, tonight I get pulled back down to my pool of anxiety and emotions. It's my first day back at work tomorrow after four weeks off, how do you even try to return back to normal when everything is far from that. ———————————————— I've been able to grieve in the safety on my own home, now I have to go and face the world that just keeps spinning, with a forced smile of course. I guess the reality of... well reality, is starting to slap me in the face. It's scary, but there's nothing I can do to change it. ———————————————— This is the last step in the period that society labels acceptable to grieve in, once that time period is over you're expected to ’move on’, and a million of other things you shouldn't (but people do anyway) say to someone who is grieving. I guess I just want others to accept that I still feel like shit, and will for a long time. ———————————————— Moment of silent for my body clock that is about to get a rude awakening at my 6am alarm🤦🏼‍♀️ • #tfmr

 Instagram Image by Laura (@onemissingmum) with caption : "And also...fries 🍟
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Today was our last proper day of holiday before we embark on the epic cross-country return home tom" at Starcross - 1892332834530886306
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And also...fries 🍟 . Today was our last proper day of holiday before we embark on the epic cross-country return home tomorrow, and I soaked up as much of the soothing sea air as I could 🌊 . Last week hit me hard - much harder than I had anticipated - and taking a step back from the online world was very much needed. . Baby Loss Awareness Week isn’t for me - I KNOW how it feels to live every day with someone missing from my arms. But this year it felt bigger than ever, and hiding away with my family was about all I could manage. . Someone said to me lately that immersing myself in the baby loss community was like ‘rubbing salt into the wound’ of Findlay’s death...🙄 . That comment, whilst innocently meant, is so misguided, but this quote from Khalil Gibran has made me look at it again. . I have certainly cried more tears in the past 7 days than I have in a while...but what’s wrong with that? . . There is something so cathartic about tapping into the raw, painful emotion and letting it fall from your eyes into the world beyond. . . Just as the vast, immensity of the ocean grounds you in the sublime power of the world around you, so do those hot, salty tears connect me to the strength & ferocity of maternal love. . They remind me that my son is gone, and that it hurts. It hurts SO MUCH. . . It hurts so much, because I love him so much. And my tears remind me that a mother’s love is unwavering, unfading, eternal. . . Like the sea, my love for Findlay is an unstoppable, awe-inspiring force; bigger than hashtags, and blog posts, and Instagram pictures. Bigger than me. . So yes, I think there is something sacred in salt; and after a week with my family, I’m returning home fully seasoned & ready to face whatever’s comin’ at me next 💪🏻 . (For the sake of my jeans...let it be salad 🥗🐷) . . .

Stillbirth & Neonatal Death (@sands_charity_exeter) Instagram Profile Photo sands_charity_exeter

Stillbirth & Neonatal Death

 image by Stillbirth & Neonatal Death (@sands_charity_exeter) with caption : "Words from Cymbelline’s mummy “On our way home from hospital after our baby died, we drove through the Exe Valley and it" - 1892328687228400583
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Words from Cymbelline’s mummy “On our way home from hospital after our baby died, we drove through the Exe Valley and it seemed strange that the world was so beautiful when something so awful had happened. I’m so grateful to have the healing power of nature around me, in all her beauty, even on a gloomy day like today!” 💛 Day 17 for our project and month

 image by KVM (@lightandloss) with caption : "17. A Letter to My Therapist ~ Preface: I feel it must be said that all of the treatment and care I have received around" - 1892326035380731337
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17. A Letter to My Therapist ~ Preface: I feel it must be said that all of the treatment and care I have received around my pregnancies, including my births, tfmr, and subsequent genetic testing and grief counselling, amounted to the grand total of ZERO pounds. 🇬🇧👊 . Dear Therapist, I was so scared when we met. Scared there was something really wrong with me. Scared I’d never be happy or normal again. Scared that we might not connect and that I couldn’t be fixed. But there was no reason to fear. You were pure light on the darkest of days. I’m pretty sure the internet coined the term “Safe Space” based on your office. You oozed empathy, respect, understanding. You were gentle, kind and SO enthusiastic about supporting women through trauma. You never judged. You never compared. You are a hero in my story. Although I imagine, like most people who work for the NHS, you probably don’t always feel like you’re doing enough, or that you have the means () to do enough - You were more than enough for me. I will forever be grateful to you for the love and support you gave me during the most difficult time of my life. You heard me. You saw me. You helped me learn to love myself again. All of my gratitude and support always, K